


Maternal

by Vanilla_Owns_Chocolate



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Young Steven Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanilla_Owns_Chocolate/pseuds/Vanilla_Owns_Chocolate
Summary: Steven wants to know why he doesn't have a mom.Greg is not good at explaining things.





	Maternal

It was a quiet summer night when he asked the question. It came completely out of nowhere, as most of Steven's words did, but it managed to succeed in catching Greg completely off-guard.

"Dad?" four-year-old Steven said, gazing up at him with big sad eyes. "Why don't I have a mom?"

Greg nearly snapped one of his guitar strings in surprise, the beautiful melody he had just been playing ceasing altogether. He looked down at Steven and rubbed the back of his neck through his long brown hair.

"Uh..." he began, trying to form an explanation in his mind, "well, technically, you have three moms. You got Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, right?"

Steven looked down at his feet, dangling over the pavement from his seat in the van's open trunk. "They're not my real moms. They just come over and hang out with me sometimes."

"Well...you love them, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"And they take good care of you, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, then," Greg said, putting an arm around Steven, "sounds to me like you got a pretty good deal there! Not many kids have three whole moms all to themselves."

But Steven didn't seem satisfied with this. Instead, he furrowed his brow, his little mind deep in thought. Greg let out a sigh and laid his guitar down beside himself. He knew that this would come up someday, but he still wasn't prepared for it. He had always preferred to just push the scenario out of his mind since thinking of Rose was still a bit difficult for him.

"Hey, kiddo, what got you thinking about all this, anyway?" he suddenly asked, both because he was trying to stall for time and also because he genuinely wanted to know. Steven was his son; he had a right to try and fix whatever it was that was troubling him.

The boy shrugged. "I dunno. I was just thinking about that time we went into Fish Stew Pizza and Mrs. Pizza wasn't there."

Greg inhaled sharply. Kofi's wife had died a few weeks ago, and while the family was still mourning, they had recently re-opened the shop. They still needed to support themselves, after all, even though they were still clearly saddened by Abena's death.

Steven continued talking, unaware of the dread pooling in his father's stomach. "And I asked Kofi where Abena was, and he said she...died?"

Greg scratched at his beard nervously. _Oh, jeez. This is really happening._

"And when I asked him what that meant," continued Steven, "he said that she went to a place called heaven and wouldn't be coming back."

A lump formed in Greg's throat. He braced himself for what would come next, but Steven didn't say anything. Reluctantly, the man opened his mouth to continue the conversation.

"And, uh...then what happened?"

"Then he got real upset and went into the back room. Nanefua told me he still missed Abena and needed to be alone." Steven's gaze turned on his father once more, the sadness in his face now partially mixed with curiosity. "Dad, is Mom in heaven too?"

Greg chewed on his bottom lip. Did Gems have some kind of belief in the afterlife? He doubted it, since they weren't organic (or religious, for that matter). As far as he knew, when a Gem "died," they shattered into a million pieces. But by that logic, Rose wasn't dead, was she?

"...Not exactly," he said without thinking. He instantly regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, as they only served to make Steven more intrigued.

"Then where is she? Why isn't she around?" he inquired, tilting his head ever so slightly. Greg tried not to show how panicked he was as he tried his best to explain.

"Well, she...she..." Lord, _he_ couldn't even understand how Rose had gone. How could he explain it to a four-year-old? "She's...with you."

Steven looked around, even more puzzled than before. "Where? I don't see her. Is she hiding?"

Despite the situation, Greg managed a small chuckle. He ruffled Steven's messy black hair affectionately. "No, no, she's not hiding, Schtu-ball. She's part of you. You know that gem on your belly?"

The boy lifted up his oversized shirt and stared at the gemstone in question. "Yeah?"

"That's from your mother," Greg told him, "she was a Gem like Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. When she...had you, the gemstone on her tummy went straight to you."

"Ohhh." Steven nodded in gradual understanding, though it was clear that more questions were forming in his mind. "But where did she go? If she's a Gem, why doesn't she live in the temple?"

Greg was silent for a moment, choosing his next words very carefully. "She...couldn't. When Gems have babies-" (he didn't feel like telling him that Rose was the only Gem ever to have had a baby) "-they just sorta...fade away. The only thing they leave behind is their gem."

"So...Mom is gone, but not really?" Steven looked back and forth between his gem and his father. "Is she inside my gem?"

Oh boy, Greg thought, that was a question that he did not know the answer to. Was Rose still alive somehow, living inside of Steven? Could she think, feel, communicate with him? He was pretty sure Steven didn't have any of her memories, but...

"...Yes and no," Greg said after a long pause. "She can't come back, but she is connected to you somehow."

Steven didn't respond. For a while, they sat there, and Greg wondered if it was finally over. Then, Steven posed another question, one that nearly made his heart break.

"Why did my mom have me?" he mumbled. "If she knew she wasn't gonna be around anymore, why did she have a baby?" Suddenly, he sniffled, tears forming in his eyes. "Is it my fault she's not here?"

At the sight of his son's tears, Greg went into Dad Overdrive. "Hey, hey, hey, Schtu-ball!" he cried, rushing to wrap Steven in a comforting embrace. "Don't cry, buddy. Your mom loved you. She wanted to have you more than anything in the world."

"Then why isn't she here?!" Steven wailed. "How come she had to give up her gem? Why couldn't she stay? Why did - why did-" He started bawling, burying his face into his father's shirt. "I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I'm sorry I took Mom away."

That did it. Greg put his hand on Steven's head and moved it back a little so that they were looking directly at each other.

"Listen, Steven," he said firmly, "Rose being gone isn't your fault. Look, I don't understand a lot of the weird magic stuff she did, but there was no other way for her to have you. She made this choice because she wanted you to live and be happy."

Steven said nothing. He just continued to weep, grabbing onto his father like his life depended on it. Greg continued.

"When she was pregnant with you, all she talked about was how excited she was for you to be born. She wanted you to have fun and play on the beach and eat pizza and all that other cool stuff you do every day. She wanted you to make friends and learn things and make people happy."

At those words, Steven wiped at his eyes, staring up at Greg with a messy red face. "But weren't you sad when she left?"

"Of course I was. We all were. We still miss her sometimes, and it's hard to go on without her. But y'know what keeps us going?"

"What?"

Greg smiled warmly. "You, Schtu-ball. Rose may be gone, but you remind us that we can still be happy. You love everyone and everything, just like she did."

Steven's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yep." Greg squeezed him tighter. "No matter how much we all miss Rose, we would never hate you. You give us hope, kiddo. She would have wanted that."

Steven went silent, though it was obvious he was still thinking about what his father had said. For a while, they sat together, looking at the stars. Rose was on both of their minds, and for a moment Greg wondered what she would have said or done in his place. He hoped he hadn't messed up. Maybe the Gems knew more about this stuff than he did.

Eventually, Steven yawned. His little four-year-old body was unused to staying up so late. Greg immediately turned his attention to him.

"Sounds to me like someone's tired." he remarked. Steven shook his head weakly.

"No," he replied, stifling another yawn, "I can stay up! I...I..." His eyelids drooped, clearly proving his statement wrong. Greg snickered.

"Alright, off to bed, li'l guy." Greg said, laying him down on the little mattress inside the van that had been prepared just for him. He was going to live with the Gems soon, but Greg tried his best to provide for him until that happened.

"...Dad?" Steven murmured sleepily. "I love you."

Greg bent down and kissed his son's forehead. "Love you, too, Steven. Sleep tight."

Steven was too tired to respond. The second he closed his eyes, he was out like a light.

Greg watched him, a smile on his face, and looked out the window at the sky once more. The moon was bright and full, the stars around it twinkling in a beautiful pattern.

 _Rose loved the stars,_ he thought sadly, his mouth turning downwards a bit. Then, he looked back at his sleeping son, blissfully unaware of the troubles that plagued him. The sight managed to restore Greg's smile, albeit only temporarily.

He got into the front seat of the van and made himself as comfortable as he could. Steven's snores were soft, a steady stream of background noise that caused his eyes to close gradually.

"Goodnight, Steven," he murmured as he drifted out of consciousness. "Goodnight, Rose."

He slept peacefully, dreaming of a future in which all three of them lived happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> idk i wanted to write something bittersweet


End file.
